French make a good apple pie.

Had a few hours off while discharging in France, enough to take the trusty 6 speed Huffy ashore and plunder the local village. Managed to end up at a fine little establishment, and made out quite well after pointing at random shit on the menu.

Good ass Tiger Prawns, endless bread, glass of wine. Spot ON.

"Sweets, monsieur?". Oui. Out comes this PROPER apple pie. well done, France.

Beach

Hit some weather on the way out. 75kt gusts.

Egypt, A.K.A. Marlboro Country.

Update on Siopao: He has jumped ship in Egypt.  Good luck, Siopao...you had a good run.

With all of the recent violent protests going on up and down the canal cities in Egypt, along with a strict curfew in effect, we figured this would be a perfect time to pass through the Suez Canal, northbound into the Mediterranean.

This may sound majestic, traveling through such an important and historic waterway....if the whole thing wasn't a big crock of shit from the moment you anchor at the entrance.

 

The arabic word "baksheesh" goes back to an old custom of gift giving, or tipping, in old Arabia. Welp, nowadays this has turned into outright begging and bribery, this is especially true for any sailor unfortunate enough to pass through the canal.

Between the thiev...excuse me, pilots, agent, "canal inspector", "suez electrician", and customs, I think the final "baksheesh" tally was +/- 60 cartons of cigarettes (marlboro only), 1 pair of binoculars (unknowingly taken), 1 bottle of Heinz 57, and multiple sundry items that weren't bolted down to the deck. Anything left loose is liable to theft from someone as professional as a pilot.

Why doesn't the Captain just tell these guys to go pound sand when they ask for "presents", you may ask? If these guys feel in any way challenged, threatened, or disrespected, they can impose any of a number of ridiculous fines for not complying with something that is in their ridiculous "rules of navigation" book that applies to ships passing through the canal. It is just easier to give in to their childish demands, which is an average of 6 cartons of smokes per person, and the occasional Ketchup bottle.

Ships are also required to pick up a mooring boat crew...the idea is that if a ship has a breakdown, we would lower these boats into the water, and they would run our mooring lines to shore bollards, so that the rest of the convoy can go around us. This never has, and never will be ever used, so really the purpose of these guys is to take as much SPAM from the galley as possible, setup their marketplace in the coffee bar, and chain smoke from 8am-4pm. Here you can find some of the finest items from ancient egypt for sale.

Imagine the $1.99 bin at Walmart, but worse. Here is where you can really hone in on your haggling skills, though. Even if you don't want to buy a $25 rag t-shirt with a cartoon Sphynx on the front, at least you can see if you can get it down to $9.20 plus a few camel magnets, just for shit's sake.

Here is my favorite, the Suez bait n tackle shop. "My friend, my friend, very good quality! Italian!". Sorry, bub, you ain't tellin me that plastic spinning reel with no drag washers and a backwards handle is gonna go for $50. $8 for a Chinese made sabiki rig that you bought for $0.50? How about $2 and a handful of nickels. Strangely enough, I actually like these guys, so we met in the middle and I bought some gar-bage, a win-lose for him and I.

Other than that, the transit is pretty boring. It is a desert, after all.

There are 2 war memorials you pass, both riddled with bullet holes and RPG fire. That's nice.

 

A common sight on the chart table. Recently, Egyptians have switched from Marlboro Reds, to Whites. You stay healthy, Egypt.

Fun fact of the day, it costs about $250,000 or more for us to go through the canal. One way. Maybe they can install an E-Z Pass?

Siopao, the Taiwanese Racing Pigeon

When we passed Taiwan back on January 24th, a stowaway hopped onboard for the ride. Every now and then, some fowl will stay onboard, so I thought nothing of it when this pigeon was seen for a few days straight. From dumb Sri Lankan herons who are constantly falling off whatever they try to land on and onto their face, to gargantuan Albatross, birds like to hitch rides.

Meet Siopao (pronounced SHOW-POW!), named after the delicious Chinese dumpling that has been served at coffee time as of late. He seemed like a normal dirty pigeon with some ID tags on his feet, until some of the Filipinos told me that he is no ordinary pigeon, but a racing pigeon (the tags are unique), commonly used to gamble with. I've never heard of such a shit.

http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pigeon_racing

Pretty fuggin sweet.

Ni hao ma, Siopao!

Normally, Siopao can be found in the area between the house and the Engine Casing, called the Grand Canyon. It is nice and shady back there, and is usually where his food is brought out to. Siopao is not shy, usually you can walk right up to him, and he just stares back at you with a "...what now?" look on his cocky, smug face (see above picture). I like that about Siopao.

Siopao, beng a racing pigeon after all, is unable to catch aquatic food, and with the absence of bugs onboard, he needs to be fed. He is an awfully fussy eater. He likes crackers and rice grain, but hates chicken (go figure), bread, and danish butter cookies . Damnit siopao, just eat what you're given.

To pass the time, Siopao likes to engage in various activites. His favorite is to watch the deck crew chip and paint the ship. He is a very sharp lookout, but reporting other ships can be a problem. Sometimes, he like to involve himself in safety related things, like firefighting.

Not yet, Siopao! Put on your firefighting suit first! He is always so eager to help out.

Actual Siopao. Pretty good, but still can't compete with the danish butter cookie.

More updates on Siopao to come, as long as he is still onboard.

steady 'Hoo

Nice wahoo bite last week in the South China Sea, west of Palawan. Had this doubleheader one evening.

Launched the lifeboats a while back on a nice day.

Filling valve broken on the pool? Nothin a firehose and some timber hitches can't fix.

Fuego

One of the perks of the job. Unedited

Sri Lankan signoff

     Back on the boat, so it's back to this blog. I signed off the ship in October, and spent a day in Galle, Sri

Lanka with the 3rd mate (AmUrican) and Electrician (Norwegian). 'Twas a proper signoff! Here is a recap.

     Well.....first off, before stepping foot on this locale, these were the only 2 things that would ever come to mind when I heard someone mention Sri Lanka: 1) M.I.A. and 2) Dhalsim from Street Fighter II.  

At least I am a big M.I.A. fan.

         

But Dhalsim from Street Fighter II (also Turbo), used to piss me off. He is actually Indian, but nevermind that. I always thought he was Lankan, so that's all that matters. His pupil-less eyes, ridiculous floating yoga poses, and stretch armstrong like appendages weren't fair. He could kick you square in the teeth from the other side of the fugging map with his huge dirty ass calloused foot. The only way to beat him was either to get close enough to shock his ass with Blanka, or smack him up and down his elongated figure 152 times with E Honda.

Anyways....the boat picked us up 12 nautical miles offshore at around noon if I recall correctly, which I don't.

2hr boat ride back to the harbor? No problem, that's why boatbeers exist.

IALA region A, green lateral marks to starboard when entering from seaward. 

Tiger should sponsor me.

Some decrepit hulls rotting away in Galle Harbor. Smelled like old feet (Dhalsim's) at the dock.

Quick stop at the Sri Lankan Naval HQ for some odd reason. This was posted there, high up on the side of the building. I totally forgot the tsunami even hit here. Most of coastal Sri Lanka was destroyed. Gnarly videos on youtube of it.

5.1 x 3.28 = 16.7 feet!

Lanka is pretty sweet. Very tropical and jungly...with just the right amount of dirty. I am definitely going to stay a few days next time I sign on/off the ship here. Here are some pescadores ready to launch their outrigger canoe. The drive to our hotel ran along the coast, and there were a few fun looking reefs that would be a blast to surf!

So after grabbin' some much needed booze/internet/food, along with a spelunkering session at the hotel beach for some coral, we got our rickshaw taxi to take us down to a restaurant/bar on the beach 10 minutes away called the Happy Banana. Steady rum flow! This beach was called Unawatuna, it was a sick little cove with a clean beach, blue water with schools of jack crevalle chasing baitfish, and was lined with bars filled with white people (A lot of Russians) numbing theirselves with liquor. Think of it as a dirtier, cheaper version of Jost Van Dyke.

The sunset was insane as I watched it while floatin belly up in the Indian Ocean, drink in hand, just about to start my vacation, all HOT out, bright orange, setting behind huge cumulonimbus clouds and over the mountains behind them...mmmmm.

All that sitting in my chair and lifting my glass worked up an appetite, as I started to get a rumblin in my tummy. I wasn't too sure what to order, until a local fishermans drove his boat onto the beach hot as fuck, packed with all sorts of local fishes and crabs. SOLD! chaaaaa-ching!

Best believe I got one dem big ol' parrotfish (top left),  2 of those little red snapper/grunt, and a couple of them crabs. My man lit up his fire pit, and tossed those babies right on there.

Joe (3rd mate from Maaaaashfield, Mass), ordering some type of feminine drink that was served with these gnarly flowers coming out of the glass, while our seafood feast simmered on the fire. When in Rom...I mean Galle, right? That waiter was the mans all day/afternoon/night, and was tipped properly.

After feasting, sometime in the wee hours, it was time to catch our ride to the airport in Columbo. There was no possible way I was getting on my plane without driving the rickshaw back to the hotel. Luckily our taxi driver obliged! Pretty much like driving a dirtbike. Which I have done approximately one time ever. So I think this rickshaw needed a new clutch after I was done with it. He let me take a few corners until one of us had the sense to put a stop to the nonsense. Thanks, Finn! Pictured is Finn, not looking too happy about his bitch seat in the tuk-tuk!

stay tuned for weekly nautical happenings!